Psychiatrist to victims of bullying: Speak up, don’t fight back
Credit to Author: Tempo Desk| Date: Sun, 23 Dec 2018 08:21:53 +0000
By ERMA R. EDERA
DO not physically fight back. This was the advice of a psychiatrist to the victims of bullying following a series of viral videos showing a junior high school student physically and verbally attacking his peers.
One of the videos showed a boy throwing punches at a taller boy until his nose bled in a campus comfort room. Another video showed apparently bullying a boy by forcing him to say “Bobo ako”.
Randy Dellosa, a Filipino psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, life coach and wellness specialist, said that when you are being bullied the first thing to do is to report.
“Never keep it a secret. Isang dahilan kaya napili kang i-bully ay alam niyang isesekreto mo lang kahit i-bully ka niya. Empower yourself by telling adults such as your teacher, your parents, parents of classmates, your guidance counselor, your principal, prefect of discipline, security guard,” he said.
Do not physically fight back if you are not proficient in martial arts, Dellosa said.
“The bully is usually bigger and stronger than you and baka may resbak pa siyang kasama. You may be endangering your life kung manlaban ka pa. Umiwas ka na lang at tumakbo. Mas mabuti nang matawag kang duwag kesa mapahamak pa, ‘yung buhay mo,” he added.
True friends will actually step especially if he/she wants to protect you, Dellosa said, so it is important to surround yourself with friends even as you are going home.
“Mas ita-target ka ng bully kapag alam niyang nag-iisa ka o mapag-isa ka. There is strength in numbers.”
Seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
“Magpa-counseling ka sa guidance counselor niyo. Kakampi mo iyan. Huwag mong kimkimin ang emotional trauma na natamo mo from bullying,” he said.
Most bully victims become a bully too, he claimed, so it is crucial to help the child find tasks at which they can succeed, cultivate hobbies and interests at which they excel, and spend time doing activities.
Lastly, he reminded the bully victims not to believe on what the bullies were saying about them.
“Remember that ‘yung behaviors ng bully —‘yung pang-abuso at pananakit nila ang masama, hindi ikaw,” he said.
Dellosa recalled that he was also bullied when he was in grade school.
“Kinuwelyuhan pa nga ako at inangat ng mga 2 feet sa air dahil maliit at patpatin ako. Dinedma ko lang naman ‘yung pangyayari pero sa pagtanda ko, ang karanasan kong ito ang nag-inspire din sa akin na tumulong sa mga victims ng bullying,” he said.
He encouraged the bully victims to speak up and seek help especially from their school authorities.
“Lampasan niyo lang itong bad episode ng buhay niyo. Malay niyo, later on ay baka mabigyan kayo ng pagkakataon na makatulong din sa mga biktima ng pambu-bully,” he added.