We Answered Canada’s Most Googled Questions Of 2018
Credit to Author: Mack Lamoureux| Date: Fri, 21 Dec 2018 13:00:00 +0000
We Canadians are an inquisitive bunch and we tend to go to the internet with our questions.
Like almost every other country in the world, Google ranks number one in terms of traffic in the Great White North—thanks in no small part to our questions. Thankfully—because we live in a dystopia—Google chronicles our questions and releases them in a fun end-of-year list (yay!). In this year-end release, we learn that the number one recipe Canadians looked for this year was scalloped potatoes, our number one searched show was Altered Carbon, and our most googled film Black Panther.
On top of knowing we were really into the World Cup this year, we also know what our most googled questions were. So. in what’s becoming a yearly tradition around here, I decided to take it upon myself and answer all the questions Canadians were asking. So, without further ado, here is what Canada was wondering about this year—the questions are in no real particular order.
Why do Greeks break plates?
This was one of the odd ones on the list. I looked and honestly couldn’t really figure out why this question blew up. Was there like some sort of mass plate breaking in Saskatoon or some shit? Did Greeks breaking plates play an important plot point in some sort of movie or something? If you know, holla at yo boi, plz.
Why was Meek Mill in prison?
This will be a hard one, to sum up in a short pithy paragraph or two so I would suggest reading some terrific reporting on the subject. If you don’t have time for that, here’s my best brief summation. Meek Mill was arrested in 2007 on drug charges and given eight years of probation. Meek Mill did his best to abide by the tough probation rules and was able to get through the years without too many violations. However, after making two minor violations he was sentenced to two to four years in November of 2017—he was finally released in April of 2018 after an appeal to overturn is original sentence was finally accepted.
What actually happened was far more nuanced than I can get into here but know that Mill’s story exemplifies just how broken the United States justice system was.
How many medals does Canada have?
I assume this was in regards to the Winter Olympics. At the PyeongChang Olympics, we won 29 medals: 11 gold, 8 silver, 10 bronze. We done good, folks.
Why aren’t there any NHL players in the Winter Olympics?
Because the NHL can’t ever let its fans experience happiness because the only thing keeping Gary Bettman from continuing to shrink into a hob-goblin like a creature is the collective anguish of hockey fans.
Why is 4/20 Weed Day?
Ahhh, 420, April 20th… National Blaze It, Fam day. We actually know why it’s this day but it’s probably not what your stoner friend tells you—that’s it’s Adolf’s birthday or it’s the copper code for weed or some shit—don’t listen to your friend, he’s dumb. Actually, it’s because of a group of San Francisco friends in 1971 who liked the bud and used it as a code word for smoking weed—referring to the time they were going to meet. From this code word it mainstreamed and soon the number was a date, April 20. The whole story is very charming and you can read it here.
How old is Dolly Parton?
This one actually scared me, as I honestly thought Parton may have just croaked and I straight up missed it. She didn’t and I don’t want to know why you all were googling her age—nothing good can come from that for me.
Anyways she’s 72.
How old is Prince Harry? (number one how question)
He’s 34. Is this really the question you want to ask the machine that features all the knowledge in the world? Really?
How old is Megan Markle?
Jesus Christ, you guys. She’s fucking 37 years old. Why do you care about this?
How old is Justin Timberlake?
You know what… fuck this shit. I didn’t go to (a second rate) fucking university to sit here and write about how old JT is.
Just use Google, you idiots.
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