Take charge of your mind to live happily
Indian-born lifestyle blogger Devinder Maan offers up 5 simple steps to take charge of your mind and live blissfully!
As humans, we are so blessed to have bright, intelligent, creative and imaginative minds. It is this mind that gives us protection, survival, imagination, vision, creativity and clarity. We as a human race have come a long way thanks to our combined brain power.
Today, the majority of the people have their basic needs met on a daily basis. We have comforts, conveniences and luxuries that our ancestors could only dream of. So, does this mean we are the happiest, most peaceful and joyful of all the generations?
Absolutely not! In fact, many of us, including immigrants to Canada, are miserable, frustrated, angry, worried, even depressed to some extent. So why is this you ask? Well, the mind is a part of our body just like all the other parts. It has a function and that is to protect us, create our identity and help us grow and expand. However, instead of controlling the mind, we have let it control us. We have let the mind rule our lives. We identify with it so much that we think it is who we are.
Spiritual teacher and German-born Canadian Eckhart Tolle, in Practicing the Power of Now, states “To put it accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly — you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you.”
What a brilliant observation! We think we are our mind and we listen to it 24/7, constantly and continuously. It keeps on dictating and we keep on following.
It was while reading Wayne Dyer’s book Wishes Fulfilled that I first became aware of the fact that the human mind on average has 60,000 thoughts per day. Not only that, but these 60,000 thoughts are the same thoughts each and every day repeated over and over. Unfortunately, not only are these thoughts repetitive, but they are also very limiting and depleting.
Don’t live in the past; enjoy the present
This mind of ours loves to live in the past. It tends to play the same memory reel over and over again. Always remembering the negative and bad experiences. How many times have you thought of that kid in Grade 6 who made you feel so small, that friend who was so unfair, that wrong decision you made, or that relative you could never forgive? This is what fills our lives with pain, guilt, anger and self-pity.
It doesn’t stop there. When the mind is done with the past, it engages in the future. We think of all the scenarios that could possibly go wrong. We worry about our children, our health, that of our partner, the lack of money, the 15 pounds we will never lose, etc. Of course, all this brings us into a state of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.
So, my friends, between regretting the past and worrying about the future, where does the present fit in? This very moment where real life is unfolding so beautifully. Where we have the ability to create a life of our dreams. What about this moment? Unfortunately, our cluttered mind often lets it slip by. It’s only when this moment becomes the past that we visit it and, of course, with regret. We blame something or someone because things didn’t happen the way we wanted them to.
A small experience once really drove this point home for me. I was standing in a lineup at a store. Standing before me was a young grandmother with a cute little girl sitting in her buggy. The girl was so happy and interactive. She was giggling, touching her grandma’s cheek trying to get her attention. The grandma lost in her own thoughts would just push away the girl’s hand. There was a joyful, magical present moment lost.
Each day all of us let so many beautiful moments just slip by simply because our mind is preoccupied with the past or the future. Over time, it becomes littered with anger, guilt, regret, worry and anxiety. Instead of taking charge of our lives, we simply live by reacting to what is happening. That mind which is designed for creativity, love, joy and expansion gets tangled in its own vicious cycle. We start to not only live, but also accept very limiting, ordinary existences. It all seems very normal because the majority of us live this way. We all think this is how life is — unfair, difficult and complicated.
Well, it doesn’t have to be.
It is only when we learn to control and quiet our mind and live consciously that we can experience the real magic of life. By indulging, enjoying and fully participating in the present moment, we can create and enjoy the life we dream of. With a focus on the now, we learn to appreciate the true beauty, bliss and joy this journey has to offer. This is what makes the ordinary, extraordinary.
I know exactly what you are thinking. Easier said than done, right? How do we change the patterns and habits we have lived with for so long? I understand, and I am with you. It is a process that takes commitment, awareness and patience with yourself, especially as we struggle with the immigration journey in Canada. But it is not only doable but life-changing.
Let’s do this together:
5 simple steps to take control of your mind and live life to the fullest
1. First and foremost is your commitment and desire to make the change
Once you understand the problem, you have to make a conscious effort to change the habit. Our problem is unnecessary mind chatter and its control over our lives. Our mission is to learn to quiet the mind and take charge of it.
Reading something once is not enough. You have to make notes and follow through. A journal works great where you can record your thoughts, challenges and victories everyday.
2. Learn to observe your mind
Observe and pay attention to what your mind is thinking at a given moment throughout the day. Please do not judge the thoughts. Just learn to observe and get to know your thought pattern. You are not alone. We all have these thoughts. Just accept them.
3. Next, observe the feeling related to the thought
Once you become aware of your thoughts, observe how they make you feel. If a thought gives you a negative feeling (that of regret, anger, anxiety, guilt, fear or worry), drop it like a hot potato.
Replace it with a positive thought (one that makes you smile, joyful and grateful). You have 60,000 thoughts to choose from so choose a good one. On this journey of life, let’s learn to travel light and with only the best possible memories and outlook.
4. Replace expectation with gratitude
I love this one-liner by Tony Robbins. We often go through our day having very high expectations from others and from life in general. By doing this we set ourselves up for disappointment. Change your perception and start living with gratitude instead. The practice of gratitude as a way of life can totally alter your life. Read more on gratitude. When we live with gratitude we realize how perfect and abundant life already is. Read Devinder Mann’s previous article for Canadian Immigrant on gratitude here.
5. Be in the moment
Once you start observing the mind, ensure it is engaged in the moment — this moment. Something that helps me to be present is to start noticing the smells, textures and sounds around me. Find something you love in this moment and every moment.
Remember it is this very instance where everything happens. This is the moment we can create consciously and bring joy, happiness, and laughter along with making beautiful memories.
This life of ours is too short and precious. It is meant to be lived with love, compassion and joy. It is an experience that must be felt by the soul. Don’t let the mind rule it. Learn to rule the mind!