People Told Us the Dumbest Ways They Ever Hurt Themselves in Six Words
Hurting yourself sucks. And it sucks all the more when you do it in a freakish or insanely stupid way. Literal insult added to the injury. We asked friends and co-workers about the nuttiest way they’ve hurt themselves. Here’s what they said. Get ready to cringe. (Damn, Ben.)
“Tortilla chip stabbed wisdom tooth socket.” – Elizabeth, 29
“Drunk Donkey Kong; keg on stairs.” – Rachel, 33
“Both nips pierced by sadistic piercer.” – Anna, 23
“I stabbed myself feeding my dog.” – Rebecca, 33
“Drunkenly flipped over handrail in nosebleeds.” – Drew, 25
“Cannonballed off bench onto hard ground.” – Beckett, 25
“Cut penis while trimming pubic hair.” – Ben, 42
“Fell from a hammock. Broke ankle.” – Rachael, 34
“Punctured head with doll on Christmas.” – Lia, 28
“Wound healed with gauze fused inside.” – Allie, 28
“Concussion from hitting forehead with barbell.” – Sarah, 30
“Severed tendons cutting umbrella tag off.” – Keri, 47
“Drunk sledding during a blizzard.” – Michael, 35
“Rented a scooter with zero experience.” – Michael, 34 (See photo above.)
“Fell in the same hole twice.” – Jaime, 33
“Loud headphones, got mugged, broke arm.” – Peter, 23
“Severed fingertip while printing school assignment.” – Meredith, 26
“Tore finger cartilage while grabbing TP.” – Betty, 39
“Chipped my tooth juggling billiard balls.” – Oscar, 35
“Glass on bedroom floor, bloody footprints.” – Liz, 29
“Made iced tea naked; jar exploded.” – Ellie, 34
“Crashed bike into a parked car.” – Cole, 31
“Cut my nose on toilet seat.” – Jo Anna, 33
“Bruised shoulder drunk-vaulting parking meters.” – Roman, 44
“Turning over in my own bed.” – Whitney, 36
“Dislocated my shoulder chasing a dog.” – Erin, 34
“Cut hand washing pair of scissors.” – Beth, 33
“Black eye from dancing too hard.” – Kylie, 34
“Fell asleep outside. Second degree burns.” – Ellie, 34
“Slipped on ice imitating a penguin.” – Joel, 39
“Cut my eyebrow while mud wrestling.” – Jen, 32
“Choked on hard candy at opera.” – Pete, 35
“Bruised foot at Steve Aoki concert.” – Alana, 23
“Poked my throat playing a violin.” – Olivia, 34
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This article originally appeared on VICE US.