Why we pray for the living, not for the dead

MANILA, Philippines — When a person dies, no prayers of intercession can change his final outcome.

Rene Bunsoy, 58, has never prayed for the dead in his nearly three decades of being a pastor.

Although it seemed out of the ordinary, he said his stance was borne out of strong belief in the word of God and the bible.

One evening in November, Bunsoy confessed that he had received multiple invitations to pray in funeral services — for people who have passed away to speak a word of encouragement, but he declined.

“I take this as an opportunity to tell them that in the bible, when a person dies, no prayers of intercession can change his final outcome,” Bunsoy said frankly.

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“There are just two places mentioned when a person dies and where he [or] she goes: in heaven or hell. No in between or what others call purgatory,” he added.

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Bunsoy said the practice of praying for loved ones who had passed away is based on tradition and culture of Filipino catholics, in the belief that prayers will help them “usher towards a better place than where they are or even guarantee their place in heaven.”

READ: Food offerings and other Filipino ‘Undas’ superstitions

“To not pray for them, as I understand, it is doing a disservice to their loved ones who perished. Parang sinabi mo na rin saan man siya naroon, bahala na sya, kasi ganyan niya pinamuhay ang buhay niya dito sa lupa,” he explained.

(It’s like you’re saying that wherever they are, it’s already up to them because that’s how he lived his life on Earth.)

Death traditions vary from one country to another, but one thing remains constant — it’s the fact that cultures, most of the time, clung to the wellbeing of the departed.

Some Filipinos, for an instance, believe that they should have an active role in ushering the deceased transition over to their destination or the afterlife.

What can we do instead?

Humans are emotional human beings. We cling on to feelings and we get attached to our loved ones, even those who have died.

At a time when we are grieving, what can we do? Bunsoy said he takes a different approach.

“Instead, we pray for the living relatives that they may cope in their grief,” he said.

According to Bunsoy, bible-believing Christians also find comfort in the truth that our loved ones, although they have perished, are assured of an eternal home with Jesus Christ.

He proceeded to quote a passage in the bible, particularly the first book of John chapter five verses 11 to 13, which states: “God has given eternal life and this life in His Son.

He who has the Son, has life; he who does not have the son of God does not have life. I say this to you who believe in the son of God in order that you may know you have eternal life.”