So-called Sasquatch sightings in Washington are ridiculous — Bigfoot lives in B.C.
Credit to Author: Harrison Mooney| Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2020 23:42:19 +0000
British Columbia has several famous residents: Seth Rogen, for instance, is a proud Vancouverite. But there is a local individual even more well-known, not to mention hairier, than the ubiquitous star of the Pineapple Express: it’s Bigfoot, a.k.a. the friggin’ Sasquatch.
Bigfoot may be covered in fur, but he’s smooth as hell. If Meghan Markle really wants to disappear around here, she should sign up for his Master Class. The so-called missing link has managed to stay missing for over a century, evading cryptozoologists and amateur photographers, even into the age of smartphones.
Until last week, that is, when he was purportedly spotted on a webcam monitored by transportation officials in Washington state.
“Sasquatch spotted!!!” the Washington State Department of Transportation tweeted last week, apparently forgetting that it was an official government account, relied on by thousands for accurate information, not to mention responsibly subdued punctuation.
Sasquatch spotted!!! I'm not superstitious… just a little stitious. Have you noticed something strange on our Sherman Pass/SR 20 webcam before? If you look closely by the tree on the left there looks to be something… might be Sasquatch… We will leave that up to you! pic.twitter.com/RaDGqQdEUF
In their defence, this particular amnesia appears to be afflicting everyone in the U.S. government. If the President of the whole country can lie about extorting Ukraine like the country of 42 million is a Manhattan laundromat, the Washington State Department of Transportation can definitely tweet about Sasquatch a little, as a treat.
Accompanying the tweet were still images from the camera at Sherman Pass on State Route 20, generally used to monitor road conditions but also quite helpful, it turns out, in Bigfoot surveillance. The webcam appears to have captured Sasquatch, or perhaps some other six-to-nine-foot biped, like a man, making his way through the snow.
“If you look closely by the tree on the left there looks to be something,” said the official WSDOT account for information east of the Cascade Mountains. “Might be Sasquatch … We will leave that up to you!”
One wonders if they play this fast and loose with anything else. Say fellas, has the snow slide near milepost 63 on US 2 Stevens Pass been cleared yet, or are you leaving that up to me as well?
I digress. Other WSDOT accounts soon got into the act, like the one that monitors traffic at Snoqualmie Pass, 40 miles east of Seattle.
I think Bigfoot is making the rounds across our mountain passes. @wsdot_east showed him on Sherman Pass the other day and now he is on the wildlife overcrossing on I-90 just east of Snoqualmie Pass. #doyoubelieve pic.twitter.com/gysrH5wG2r
I guess it could be Bigfoot, but we’ve been burned before. The last time I was assigned to cover an alleged Bigfoot sighting in the area, following the release of two surprisingly, suspiciously clear videos out of the B.C. community of Mission in 2013, it turned out to be viral marketing for a monster-tracking app.
And while I am confident that the above video is a hoax, I also remain confident that, if Bigfoot does exist, he lives in the mountains of British Columbia — not the mountains of Washington State. Mr. ‘Squatch goes to Washington? Please. Considering the way the Americans are monitoring the border these days, we can be more than certain that flippin’ Bigfoot isn’t getting across unseen.
If Bigfoot is real, he’s here. In 2018, an Edmonton man even tried to get the B.C. government to admit it in a lawsuit that claimed the province failed in its duty to protect the Sasquatch’s habitat, mostly by acknowledging that B.C. stood for Bigfoot Country. Unfortunately, the province was quick to counter, claiming the case lacked “an air of reality”, and the lawsuit was swiftly thrown out.
That case wouldn’t fly in Washington state either, as Bigfoot already has protection there: Whatcom County has been a Sasquatch Protection and Refuge Area since 1991.
But that resolution is mostly to protect people dressed as Bigfoot from being shot. In essence, the law precludes him from being caught dead down south, but like any longtime B.C. resident following the news these days, he probably wouldn’t anyway.
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