‘He cared for you hard’: Remembering Ricky Aspinwall’s impact
Credit to Author: Michael Rothstein| Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2024 13:06:07 EST
AT THE END of every Friday night home football game, Ricky Aspinwall made the same walk. He would leave the sidelines, maybe shake some hands or talk to a player and head for the end zone.
Along the way, the Apalachee High School defensive coordinator transformed from coach into the role that meant most to him: father and husband.
Waiting there would be Aspinwall’s wife, Shayna, and his young daughters, 5-year-old Addison and 2-year-old Emery. The girls, sometimes wearing shirts Shanya had made to support their dad, would wrap Aspinwall in hugs, no matter the outcome on the field.
The end zone hug became their tradition — an acknowledgment of the importance of his family.
“Win, lose, whatever it was, those girls were his world,” said longtime friend Trevor Metzger. “And you knew that in the end zone.”
ASPINWALL, 39, WAS one of four people who died Sept. 4 at Apalachee, where just after 10 a.m., officials say a teenage boy opened fire inside the school. The shooter is accused of killing Aspinwall, 53-year-old math teacher Cristina Irimie and two 14-year-old students, Mason Schermerhorn and Christian Angulo. He surrendered when confronted by law enforcement and has been charged with four counts of felony murder.
Aspinwall had just started his second year as a math teacher and defensive coordinator at Apalachee, a public high school in Winder, Georgia, a town of about 18,000 people 45 miles northeast of Atlanta. He previously spent a decade teaching and coaching 15 miles away from Apalachee, at Mountain View High School in Lawrenceville.
Friends, coworkers and former players remember Aspinwall as someone willing to take on challenges, whether in the classroom, on the football field or in building projects. A devout Atlanta Braves, Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns fan who loved corn, hot sauce and charting NFL draft picks on a spreadsheet, he had ambitions of being a high school head football coach. Those close to him said he always was willing to devote extra time to students and players, that he adored his daughters and wife, that he believed in the power of relationships and that he was genuinely curious in the lives of those he worked with and coached.
“He had a committed, strong, loving wife. He had two girls that God blessed him with that my heart is just aching for,” Metzger said. “And he had a career. He had a passion. He had a drive. And he had a goal to make a difference in this world.”
ASPINWALL AND METZGER loved cutting grass as teenagers in the Garden Lakes neighborhood of Rome, Georgia. Between riding bikes with pegs on the back tires, playing basketball and talking trash about sports, they founded a budding lawn-mowing business. The trade evolved to include neighborhood construction projects — sometimes with questionable quality. But they were teenagers learning on the fly, after all.
Aspinwall wrestled and played linebacker and offensive lineman for Rome High School. He was willing to do anything for the team, and Tivris Dixon, one of his high school football coaches, couldn’t remember Aspinwall missing a practice in the two years he worked with him. As a wrestler, friends and coaches said, Aspinwall was nearly impossible to pin. He balanced an intensity to win with a contagious laugh and memorable smile. On bus trips after football wins, Aspinwall was the energy engineer.
“Ricky was not the best athlete on the team,” Dixon said. “But Ricky Aspinwall is a kid that you win with.”
Aspinwall graduated from Rome in 2003. He went on to major in accounting at Valdosta State and later received an education specialist degree from Kennesaw State in 2019. After college at Valdosta, Aspinwall held various coaching and teaching jobs before interviewing at Mountain View.
Nick Bach, then the school’s defensive coordinator, said Aspinwall stood out from other candidates he interviewed in 2013.
During Aspinwall’s interview, Bach and then-head coach Doug Giacone decided to have some fun with him. Bach turned serious, like he was interviewing candidates for the college job he’d just left. He sent Aspinwall to the whiteboard in the Mountain View fieldhouse.
“We were throwing all kinds of things at him to see if we could shake him up,” Bach said. “He was shaking, but he passed the test. He handled it. We could see that he genuinely cared and was giving his best effort.”
Aspinwall spent the next decade at Mountain View working for multiple coaches, ascending to defensive coordinator and accumulating a group of close friends. He cared for their families, too, developing a bond with Bach’s daughter, Delaney, then 3. She’d sit next to him on the couch in the football office and run to him if she saw him in the hall.
For Aspinwall, his own family became his priority. He met Shayna Jacobson at Valdosta in 2008. Aspinwall beamed when he talked about Shayna, said Aspinwall’s best friend Matt Tanner. He’d sneak off to talk to her on the phone and visited her on weekends. They got engaged in 2014 when Aspinwall proposed in front of friends who held signs that read, “Shayna, will you marry me?” They married in 2016. Aspinwall deeply loved his wife, who declined through a family spokesperson to be interviewed while grieving her husband.
After he became a dad, friends said his responses to texts shortened when he was with Addison or Emery — just one or two words describing what he was doing with his daughters, meaning he’d get back to you later.
Aspinwall played Barbies, built pirate ships, had tea parties and braided hair. He tried to be the one to take Addison to school. There were many, many trips to the local park. If friends came over at night after the girls went to sleep — because he’d only hang out when they were sleeping — he warned them to not make enough noise to wake Addison or Emery. Aspinwall organized his schedule so he could optimize time with his daughters.
“Everything he did,” Tanner said, “revolved around those girls.”
AS A COACH, Aspinwall was even-keeled. Still, when he was annoyed, players knew. Aspinwall’s head would shake from side to side, his face reddening.
But how he coached, how he corrected, was always with teaching in mind. His players and coaching colleagues said that, after he got mad at a player, he would wrap his arm around him by the end of practice and explain the necessary changes. Then he’d work with him.
Marquel Broughton remembers a game during his sophomore year at Mountain View, when, during a kick return, he made a massive block that led to a touchdown.
On the sidelines, Aspinwall started yelling with a slight grin on his face. Broughton made more plays, and Aspinwall, sensing the potential, pushed him to play outside linebacker — even though Broughton was only 5-foot-7, 160 pounds. Outside linebacker was Aspinwall’s position and he wanted to coach Broughton — even if it meant he’d be competing against offensive linemen almost twice his size.
“He just said I had a fire under me that he hadn’t seen, and he just loved watching me play,” Broughton said. “And he just saw something in me that I didn’t really see in myself.”
Broughton went on to become a two-time captain for Army, and he said Aspinwall continued to stay in touch, sending congratulatory texts after big games.
“He gives you his time, his affection, his patience, his love, and that’s something you want in a friend,” Broughton said. “When he cared for you, he cared for you hard.”
Aspinwall took the same approach to teaching math. Fellow Apalachee math teacher and the football team’s offensive coordinator Jordan Rushing said Aspinwall made statistics and geometry digestible for students using sports stats or restaurant ratings. And he always made himself available after class for extra help.
In the locker room, Aspinwall was up for any task, even as he grew in status at Mountain View. Painting lines, doing laundry, loading equipment — Aspinwall did it, encouraging other coaches to help him. Why? Because the work needed to be done and he wanted to set an example for younger coaches.
“When he was the defensive coordinator for coach [Rob] Kellogg, Coach Kellogg would be like, ‘Ricky, you don’t have to do this,'” said friend and fellow Mountain View coach Mike Bowbliss. “And he would say, ‘If I don’t do it, it’s not going to get done right.'”
Aspinwall had a penchant for projects, dating back to his high school makeshift construction days. He once enlisted one of his friends and another coach, Brandon Gill, to help him build cement countertops in his basement.
When Aspinwall heard Kellogg needed a ramp to enter his home after an infection hospitalized him in 2020, Aspinwall again asked Gill to assist. They went to a hardware store, Aspinwall paid for the necessary supplies and they built Kellogg a ramp while he was still hospitalized. More than anything, Aspinwall wanted to help.
“[Kellogg] sent me a text saying, ‘I can’t thank you enough for you and Ricky helping us out,'” Gill said. “And I said, ‘Coach, you know damned well it was Ricky. I was just helping him out.'”
PROFESSIONALLY, ASPINWALL WANTED to become a head coach. Friends said he thought he needed to expand his résumé beyond Mountain View to do so.
In 2023, Apalachee coach Mike Hancock hired Aspinwall as defensive coordinator. Hancock said he wanted Aspinwall on his staff because of his defensive mind, how he treated kids and how he worked.
“Nothing was above him,” Hancock said. “His quote that he always said to me, ‘Coach, there’s always work to do.'”
Aspinwall tried innovating his defense, designing it to fit his players. In his final game less than two weeks ago, Apalachee lost, but Aspinwall took a suggestion from Hancock and used a version of a bear defensive formation to hold one of the state’s leading rushers well below his average for the year.
After the game, Aspinwall called Bowbliss after midnight to talk about how to grow from the night’s performance. The girls were sleeping, so he could work on football. This was his way to prepare for the future.
THE MORNING OF Wednesday, Sept. 4, began like any other for Aspinwall and the Apalachee community. The football team practiced at 6 a.m., and Aspinwall later attended morning bus duty, greeting students with a friendly smile, a fist pump or words of encouragement to start the day.
After bus duty, Aspinwall went to the room he shared with his fellow math teacher Rushing where they talked about that morning’s practice and college football.
Rushing was excited to attend the Georgia game to see Apalachee alum and Tennessee Tech center Nate Hodnett play. Aspinwall was pumped to watch his Longhorns take on Michigan in a massive top 10 matchup. (Those who knew Aspinwall knew the way to get him going — and potentially to get into an impromptu, lighthearted wrestling match — was to talk trash about Texas.)
Then Aspinwall went to class. The Georgia Bureau of Investigation has not released details of what happened during the shooting, but students told ABC News that Aspinwall opened the door to his classroom and ran into the hall after what sounded like banging on the lockers. The students then heard popping sounds. They told ABC News that Aspinwall died while trying to crawl back into the classroom after being shot.
“Ricky Aspinwall died protecting people that meant the world to him, and that’s his students,” said Metzger, Aspinwall’s high school friend. “That’s what I want this world to know about Ricky Aspinwall.”
THE SHOOTING SENT shockwaves through Georgia. At Mountain View, some of Aspinwall’s friends took Thursday off. Bowbliss went to school just for lunch to spend time with some of Aspinwall’s former players.
The day after the shooting was college colors day at Mountain View. Two teachers and fervent Oklahoma fans — Dr. Emily Spikes and her son, Harrison, who played for Aspinwall — decided to wear Texas gear in honor of their friend. (At his memorial service Sunday, attended by nearly 2,000 people at a nearby high school football stadium, mourners were asked to wear their favorite jerseys. Texas shirts, hats, jerseys and ties dotted the crowd.)
A GoFundMe had been established for his family. As of Tuesday, the fund had raised nearly $425,000 from over 6,600 donations. The largest donation — $10,000 — came from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and his wife.
The Apalachee football team held a private vigil Thursday night at Bethlehem Church, not far from campus. Only coaches, players and their families were allowed in the two-hour service. Hancock spoke briefly and the room fell quiet. In the silence, they grieved together.
“It was just, honestly, there were no words that I could have said,” Hancock said. “The biggest thing was just to get our eyes on them and to get our coaches’ eyes on those kids.”
Memorials began to form at Apalachee, made from flowers, balloons and crosses bearing names of those killed. At one memorial sat a wreath of flowers with a maroon and white bow and small card. The card was signed “Uvalde, Texas.”
Mourners held a vigil Friday night in the center of Winder to remember the four victims in the shooting, with U.S. Senator Raphael Warnock and U.S. Representative Mike Collins among the speakers. Monroe Area High School, the football team Apalachee was supposed to face that night, held a vigil at its school. Mountain View also held a pregame remembrance for Aspinwall. Fans wore white stickers with a black “RA,” the same decal placed on the team’s helmets. Banners expressing unity with Apalachee hung from each team’s bleachers.
On Friday, Aspinwall should have been preparing to face Monroe Area. Instead, the Apalachee football field was quiet, disrupted only by metal bleachers clanking in the wind. Six blue-and-yellow flowers had been laid at the 50-yard line.
Behind the end zone, underneath a gold Apalachee bell, mourners placed three bouquets of flowers, a football and a No. 44 Apalachee jersey inscribed with messages for Aspinwall: “Love you Coach A,” and “I love you Coach A. I’m going to miss you.”
All near the same end zone where Aspinwall should have been Friday night, hugging his wife and girls.