8 ways to master the art of small talk
Credit to Author: Murali Murthy| Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2024 12:26:42 +0000
Getting good at the art of small talk is not only appreciated in professional circles but can be a smart way to boost your career. Remember it’s not about simply initiating a conversation. It’s about engaging your audience with a meaningful conversation. It is recommended to read the classic Everyone communicates but few connect by John Maxwell, for more on this subject.
You could be taking the elevator one minute or standing in a lunch line the other or presiding over a business meeting. Every instance presents an opportunity to strike up a conversation, show empathy and leave the individual with a positive impression. Surprisingly, these are the very things that are noticed in leaders.
When you master small talk, it can open doors to new opportunities, connections and relationships. Simply find common ground, wear a smile, carry a pleasant personality and always have a pleasant tone. Here are eight effective phrases that you can use to get started!
1) “How’s your day going?” (Inquire about anything)
Do not dismiss it as a trivial venture. Inquiring about someone’s day is a popular approach that can quickly break the ice. An open-ended question, it shows that you care and it can create a connection. Plus, it allows anyone to respond in a manner they deem fit. It gives you an insight into their current mood and state of mind.
2) “That reminds me of the time…” (Relate authentically)
Another classic way to keep the communication going is by sharing personal incidents and stories. “That reminds me of the time when I saw the Masai Mara cross the river during my Kenya Safari” can bring the spark to a mundane conversation. And before you know it, one thing can lead to the other and you could be going back and forth exchanging anecdotes and stories.
This is the best way to build and deepen relationships.
3) “Did you know…?” (Approach with curiosity)
You can change a casual conversation into an intriguing one anytime by simply inserting a “Did you know…” aspect to it. This can include introducing something new, unexpected and at the same time relevant into the flow. For example, taking a cue from above, if the conversation revolves around travel, you could add, “Did you know each morning a high tide rises in the Bay of Fundy and that very afternoon, a low tide depletes the ocean of all its water. Or if revolves around sports, a ”Did you know, for the first time ever Canada qualified for the quarter-final of an international soccer match” not only elongates the conversation but also portrays you as a subject matter expert.
4) “I couldn’t help but notice…” (Express empathy)
The quote “I couldn’t help but notice…” helps you accomplish multiple objectives. It adds to the conversation, makes you come across as amiable, and subtly shows that you are listening and are empathetic. For instance, a compliment like “I couldn’t help but notice that your tie really matches your suit makes the other person appreciative but also gives them an opportunity to respond and extend the conversation. They could even share with you where they got the suit and the tie or even relate a story on that topic. Do remember to pay a genuine, authentic compliment otherwise can sense a fake statement easily. Remember, everyone has a built-in vibe indicator.
5) “What do you think about…? (Invite an opinion)
Openly asking for opinions is another way to use small talk to keep the conversation going. The seemingly harmless “What do you think about…?” can make the conversation really interesting and varied too. Not only can it give the audience the chance to share their perspective but this can lead the communication in a whole new direction. For example, your query could be “What’s your opinion on Broadway extending The Lion King musical into yet another season this year?” When they respond, it will be an authentic response. It helps them share their views and makes sure that the conversation is kept going.
A word of caution: As much as possible do not engage in religious or political chats because people may have a view different from yours. In the end, it is not about winning arguments but winning minds and hearts.
6) “I truly appreciate your…” (Give an open compliment)
This can be the perfect icebreaker and help you calm your nerves quickly. This is also a great way to express your thankfulness and acknowledge the other individual’s efforts. Plus, it warms up the moment and adds a personal touch. A heartfelt “I really appreciate your giving me the seat on the bus” not only builds a nice rapport but also acknowledges the other person’s helpful nature. You are demonstrating that you value every little thing and never take other people’s efforts for granted.
7) “By the way, have you tried…?” (Introduce a twist)
If you like to stay in control and bring an interesting twist to the narrative, try opening up the conversation with a “By the way, have you ever tried…?”. For instance, if you are talking to a career-oriented person, you might say, “By the way, have you ever tried being an entrepreneur/ starting your own business? Not only does it introduce a topic twist but it also helps the other person respond with a positive, negative or indifferent perspective. This kind of small talk helps to keep the conversation interesting helping both parties to venture into new areas and stay engaged.
8) “Can you share more about…” (Encourage and help them open up)
A question like “Can you share more about the program you chose to pursue” or such helps the other individual to open up and share more about their current pursuits and experiences. When done right, it shows that you are genuinely interested in what they are going to say and you are not making small talk for the sake of it.
As you can see from the above examples, small talk is anything but small. It can transform any ordinary chat into a significant conversation leading to new relationships, business opportunities or even your next job interview.
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