Life ‘boring’ sans booze, ‘smokes,’ says Aussie exec

SYDNEY—Former Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce bemoaned his “incredibly boring” life without alcohol and cigarettes on Monday, saying he now needed to pay attention when guests “prattle on” at official functions.

The colorful cattle-farming politician, who once threatened to kill Johnny Depp’s dogs, ditched the drink after he was filmed lying across a busy footpath in a stupor this year.

“When I went stomach to the stars I thought: That’s a disgrace, I can’t do that again,” he told Australia’s Channel Seven.

“I’ve given up smokes, I’ve given up alcohol. Life is incredibly boring having to actually talk to people at functions,” said Joyce, who still sits in parliament as a member of the conservative opposition.

“Do you know the sort of rubbish they prattle on about? It’s incredible.”

Donning a dark suit and patterned tie, Joyce had been filmed mumbling into his phone while lying on the footpath of a busy street packed with bars and eateries.

Joyce later blamed a cocktail of alcohol and prescription medication.

Checkered career

Among the greatest hits of Joyce’s checkered political career was a headline-grabbing dog-smuggling disagreement with Hollywood glamour couple Johnny Depp and Amber Heard in 2015.

Depp and Heard felt the wrath of the Australian government after flying pet dogs Pistol and Boo into the country on a private jet without following strict biosecurity protocols.

Then deputy prime minister Joyce said the condemned canines would be euthanized unless they “buggered off back to the United States.”

“Pirates of the Caribbean” star Depp would later return serve by saying Joyce looked like he was “inbred with a tomato,” a reference to the 57-year-old’s distinctive ruddy complexion.

Australia’s former conservative government put a so-called “bonk ban” in place in 2018 after Joyce had a secret affair with a former staffer who became pregnant.

Asked on Monday if he had given up alcohol for good, a deadpan Joyce answered cautiously.

“Ah, no, look, I’m not saying that,” he replied.