Funny or Not Funny? The dos and don’ts of using humour

Credit to Author: Cheryl Song| Date: Mon, 03 Apr 2023 16:15:47 +0000

Sharing a laugh is a great stress reliever and a wonderful way to connect with others.  But one thing to understand is that humour is culture and language specific. In a multicultural, multigenerational environment, jokes can be interpreted in specific ways due to differences in language, culture, generations and personality.

A joke might seem funny to you, but it can be offensive depending on how the recipient understands the joke. Moreover, some people might not share your sense of humour and be confused by the jokes, or even hurt by them.

Therefore, it is important to be mindful of how to use humour appropriately and teach your children to consider the following factors.

  • Is it developmentally appropriate? Children often take things literally and might not understand when people are joking.  As result, children’s feelings and self esteem can be hurt by some jokes.
  • Are these jokes tasteless and offensive and/or prejudiced against certain vulnerable groups? It is best to avoid jokes targeting race, gender, age, disabilities and many more.
  • What is the reason for using jokes? Humour can help diffuse tense situations during tough conversations.
  • Are the jokes making fun of others’ misfortunes or mistakes? Instead of laughing at them, show kindness by offering a helping hand and kind words.
  • Is anyone being hurt by the jokes or teasing? Some are fine with playful teasing, but mean-spirited teasing can be hurtful and damaging.
  • Is the context and timing of using humour appropriate? There are times when it is appropriate to joke around, and others when it is time to be serious.
  • Are you reading the reactions of your audience, their body language and facial expressions? Awkward silences, uneasiness, tension and forced laughter might indicate that they might be offended by the jokes.
  • How do you react when someone is hurt by the jokes you told? Dismissing someone with phrases such as “Just joking” or “Don’t be so sensitive” only worsens the situation.  Instead, listening to those who are hurt by the joke and a sincere apology could help remedy the situation.
  • When you hear inappropriate jokes from others, do you stay silent or speak up? Sometimes the person telling the jokes might not be aware that the joke was hurtful. Speak up if you witness or are victim of inappropriate joking and teasing.

Parents can set good examples by teaching children that while humour can beneficial, it can also be hurtful or cause embarrassment if used inappropriately.  Teach children what is acceptable and unacceptable when joking with others.  A good sense of humour, combined with quick wit, kindness and respect, can make the world a better place.

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