Stories that I would like to see and hear
Credit to Author: Rolly G. Reyes| Date: Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:25:11 +0000
Donald Trump is launching a new book about “Humility and Selflessness.”
Nicanor Faeldon is nominated for canonization to replace St. Anthony as the new patron saint of lost things.
Kim Jon Ung is now the world’s peace poster boy and set to become the next Nobel Peace Prize winner. All he has to do is to drop everything that he is doing.
Philippines invaded China. Xi Jinping unconditionally surrendered and begged to be deported to Spratly Islands as a refugee.
The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority to charge motorists to pay parking fees on EDSA. This will save hundreds of thousands of vehicle owners from the “No car, no garage” policy.
Amazon announced that Apple, Google and Tesla can now be ordered online.
Vice President Leni Robredo releasing a book, How to End the Drug War by Press Conferences.
Maynilad Water Services Inc. and Manila Water Co. Inc. will co-produce a new sequel to “Waterworld.”
China is now poised to file charges at the International Criminal Court against former
ombudsman Conchita Carpio Morales and former Foreign Affairs sectetary Albert del Rosario for interference in China’s internal affairs.
Sen. Leila de Lima to release an adaptation of the song “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley.
Smartmatic is designing a new digital calculator. Prototypes are now on display at the Commission on Elections lobby for testing. Designated to demo the units is VP Leni.
Maria Lourdes Sereno is encouraging legislators to erase Section 5 (1), Article VIII Section 7 (3) Article VIII and Section 17, Article XI that allows the basis of quo warranto in the Constitution.
Atong Ang is converting to Islam to be able to marry any of the Barretto sisters. However, selection of the bride will be done through a lottery.
Meralco is now trying to develop an electric car that will automatically pay the bills at charging stations.
Kikiam is now declared as the official food of the Philippine Sports Commission.
The World Health Organization is now thinking of using vapes to be used as smoke signals to communicate potential health hazards.
To save energy, the sun in our solar system is converting to LED.
China discarded the idea of annexing Recto Bank. It is now claiming Chinatown, Divisoria, Greenhills and Banawe.
Telecoms are slowly turning to invest in agriculture. It has started with fiber. Stem, roots and leaves are expected to follow.
To ease traffic, government and private sector are mulling the idea of celebrating Christmas and New Year in February and March.
Social Weather Stations: Seven of 10 Chinese workers in the Philippines are worried by the increasing numbers of Filipino workers in the country.
Yamaha and Kawasaki are joining hands to buy Yamazaki.
The Supreme Court has reversed the decision of anti-graft court Sandiganbayan to dismiss the graft charges against Sen. Lito Lapid. His supporters are claiming that it is a prejudiced decision against all “probinsyano.”
Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas is all smile these days. Our gold medal haul in the 30th Southeast Asian Games drastically increased our gold reserves.
Juan Ponce Enrile rejected by Home for the Aged for being overqualified.
Some members of the United Nations moved to file a resolution to remove the word “united” in its name. As of now, they still cannot agree on the draft.
Tesla is building a car for Apple, Apple is designing a touch screen dashboard for Tesla, Microsoft is computerizing Tesla’s engine, and Facebook is developing the face recognition for a keyless entry and to start the engine.
Belo Clinic is now the leading advocate of fake news and it is moving to Silicon Valley for expansion.
North Korea is under pressure to refrain from testing their ballistic missiles further. The US recommended using ‘kwitis” from Bocaue fireworks instead.
The US survived the “Black Friday” sale during Thanksgiving Day without President Donald Trump renaming it “White Friday.”
VP Leni approached Labor Secretary Silvestre Bello 3rd to clarify government’s position on ENDO (End of contract). Bello responded that it does not apply for a two-week employment. But Philippine Overseas Employment Administration and Tessa offered foreign deployment to appease her.
The Philippines is planning to send a manned space flight the sun. On board will be the chief executive officers of Maynilad Water Services Inc. and Manila Water Co. Inc. so that they may gather data on how to combat dehydration. A team from the Bureau of Fire Protection will accompany them in case of extreme temperature and probable fire hazards.
Some yellow cultists suggested that to complete the rehabilitation of Pasig River and finally solve water pollution, environmental experts suggested the relocation of Malacañang Palace to another place to finally remove the cause. Pro-government allies countered by advocating siltation of the whole Philippine waterways to remove yellow debris.
SWS and Pulse Asia are now thinking of expanding their companies into cosmetics. They are planning to merge to launch a new product called “Mind Conditioner.”
If the Philippines will bid for the hosting of the Olympics, some are worried that Alan Peter Cayetano will join Forbes’ list of Top 10 wealthiest men in the country.
Popular comics of yesteryears like Pilipino Komiks, Espesyal Komiks, Hiwaga Komiks and Tagalog Klasiks will now be published online to describe the exploits of our politicians. The public wanted Wakasan, instead, to end it all.
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Good work, good deeds and good faith to all.