Things to remember when someone is verbally abusive

Credit to Author: Tempo Desk| Date: Sat, 07 Dec 2019 16:30:19 +0000

 

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CHANCES are, you have en­countered persons whose words are like a dagger – ver­bally abusive road users, pa­tients, superiors, intimate part­ners, or relatives. They use harsh words to feel in control. They make other people feel weak, incomplete and afraid. Some of them yell, but there are those who sound calm and meek. They make unreason­able orders. They also have the nerve to accuse others of the very thing they do – and play victim.

The intensity may surprise you at times. What are these people talking about? Why is there so much anger when you did not even do anything wrong?

Verbal abuse is defined as “the systematic, ongoing use of harmful words or sharp tones in an attempt to control another person”. Abusers use “words that seek to control, corrupt, de­grade, denigrate, dominate, em­barrass, exploit, induce fear or anxiety, humiliate, induce guilt, induce powerlessness, create jealousy, punish, reject, sabo­tage, threaten, or isolate” (Mar­shall).

Remember these things when you encounter verbally abusive persons.

It’s not about you. Abusers are hurting individuals who only feel powerful when they are able to inflict pain on other people. They may look confident, but they are motivated by insecurity and un­resolved personal issues.

Do not let their words affect you. Avoid hitting back by say­ing negative words, too. If they know you are affected, the abuse will go on and escal
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