Vaughn Palmer: Giant hornets! Plucky columnist vows to hide indoors
Credit to Author: Stephen Snelgrove| Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2019 17:08:56 +0000
VICTORIA — On a day when most of Canada was transfixed by the start of the federal election campaign, the B.C. Ministry of Agriculture chose to put out one of the scarier press releases in its history.
“Three large insects found in the Nanaimo area in August have been confirmed by experts as Asian giant hornets (vespa mandarinia), the first time they have been found on Vancouver Island,” it announced Wednesday.
Or as the Victoria Times Colonist headlined with less restraint: “Monster hornets found on Island.”
As one who spent the 1980s monitoring the progress northward from South America of killer bees – when they reached Texas in 1990, I started sleeping with the light on – I did not know giant hornets existed in Asia or anywhere else.
Never mind that they could be as close at hand as the Vancouver Island city where I attended high school.
As for that “monster” reference in the newspaper headline, “the hornets can reach up to five centimetres in length with a wingspan up to seven centimetres,” according one online entry. (For those who still visualize things in Imperial measure … never mind.)
The government press release tried to play down the alarming nature of the find, saying there were only three hornets, all were dead and steps would be taken to monitor the area just in case there were others.
But the ministry did manage to concede that these were in fact hiving insects, not given to travelling overseas in threes. In short, there could well be a nest somewhere in the Nanaimo area.
“If a nest of hornets is encountered, do not disturb the nest or the hornets and leave the area,” added the release.
This turns out to be like those warnings that grizzly bears are no threat to humans unless you find yourself between a mama and her cubs. Like how could that happen?
For one could readily stumble unawares over these giant hornets, because they build their nests underground, according to government entomologist Tracy Hueppelsheuser.
“It’s just a hole,” she told reporter Lindsay Kines of the Victoria paper. “You’ll see the insects milling about around that hole and then you’ll know you’ve got a nest of some kind there.”
But by then it might be too late. For the further I read into the ministry press release, the more I was thinking it should have come with one of those warnings they put on slasher films on late night TV.
“Due to the larger amount of venom injected, a sting from an Asian giant hornet can be very painful and cause localized swelling, redness and itching. “
Or to quote another online posting: “The giant Asian Hornet is notoriously aggressive. If you see it, you run, because vespa mandarinia’s venom is delivered via a 1/4 inch stinger and can dissolve human tissue; a few stings can kill you. It is said to feel like a hot nail being driven into your leg, according to a Japanese entomologist.”
In which regard, the B.C. ministry has this advice:
“People who are stung multiple times (10 or more) have a higher risk of developing toxic or allergic reaction, such as light-headedness or dizziness,” says the ministry press release, dropping the pretext of not being alarming. “They are advised to seek medical attention immediately.”
Stung more than 10 times?! By an insect half the size of your thumb with the persistence of a Jack Russell terrier?
Make that a pack of Jack Russells. “To top it all off, the venom contains pheromones that send out signals to any nearby hornets, encouraging them to come and finish you off,” adds the online posting.
Enough said.
Speaking of untimely press releases, the week also saw the arrival of a call for an end to prayers at the legislature.
House proceedings open every day with a prayer, which is one of the more soothing aspects of a chamber where question period, on a bad day, can be as rhetorically stinging as stumbling across a nest of giant you-know-whats.
The prayers are not transcribed by Hansard. But they have been preserved on tape.
After participating in a review of them going back to 2003, the B.C. Humanist Association found that they were mostly Christian (you were expecting pagan?), hence “antiquated and discriminatory” and called for an end to the practice.
But with giant Asian hornets on the move, is this really the time to abandon the possibilities of prayer?
The MLAs themselves deliver the prayers on a voluntary basis, some with more enthusiasm than others.
On the NDP side, for many years the most reliable participant was Leonard Krog. Starting in 2005 he delivered almost 100 prayers before he resigned late last year after he sought and won the office of mayor in Nanaimo.
He’s doing well by all accounts. But in light of this weeks breaking news about his community from the agriculture ministry, Mayor Krog might wish to reactivate his praying skills in a way that could give new meaning to the “your worship” honorific.
“Lord, didn’t you deliver Daniel from the lion’s den? And Jonah from the belly of the whale? Well, Lord, if you can’t deliver my city, for goodness sake don’t help those hornets.”
In the interim, Nanaimo seems a little too close for comfort. I am planning to stay indoors until I get the “all clear” message from Agriculture Minister Lana Popham herself.
An Asian giant hornet.