The Weird New Pokemon That You Can Drink Is Tearing Us Apart
Credit to Author: Ricardo Contreras| Date: Fri, 06 Sep 2019 20:06:38 +0000
Every so often, there’s a Pokemon that becomes highly controversial. Sometimes, it’s because it has an overpowered ability or move. Sometimes, people don’t like the character design. And sometimes, it’s the description that really sets people off. So when we learned that the new ghost Pokemon, Polteageist, was willing to let you drink some of its body if it liked you, it naturally caused some, well, lively debate. I, for one, am willing to partake of my new ghastly tea friend. It would be rude to refuse it! We discuss the entire Nintendo Direct, Gears 5, and more on this week’s Waypoint Radio. You can listen to the full episode and read an excerpt below.
Rob: So, Cado, tell me about the Cramorant.
Cado: It’s a bird, likes to eat fish, and if you spook it it spits the fish at you. It’s a fucking perfect Pokemon.
Rob: See that’s a good and wholesome Pokemon I can get behind.
Cado: It’s a fucking great and wonderful Pokemon!
Rob: Oh it’s just a shitty pissed-off sea bird, and I felt a powerful affinity there. And there’s nothing deeply upsetting or troubling about it.
Cado: No not at all!
Rob: Unlike some other Pokemon I could name.
Cado: What? You mean –
Rob: Fucking haunted Mrs. Pott’s?
Cado: The ghost tea?
Rob: Yeah!
Cado: The undying spirit or Mrs. Potts!
Danielle: Look, Chip had a hard time after that movie okay?
Cado: Pol- Pol-tea-geist? Pol-teaaaa-geist I think? Am I saying that right?
Danielle: I think so, let’s take a look shall we?
Cado: It’s a ghost.
Rob: But what –
Cado: You can drink some of the ghost.
Danielle: What?
Patrick: I don’t like that. I don’t –
Danielle: What!?!
Patrick: Don’t. Don’t drink the ghost.
Rob: But isn’t the – Okay. Backup one second.
Cado: Yeah.
Danielle: Ooohhhhh God!
Rob: So if the Pokemon likes you, it will let you drink it’s tea.
Danielle: No!
Cado: Uh huh!
Patrick: This is a game for children.
Danielle: Oh it lives inside the teapot!
Cado: Yeah!
Danielle: And its feet come out!
Cado: Yeah, so what you’re drinking is its feet.
Danielle: It’s feet juice! You’re drinking its feet juice!
Cado: Its body is made of tea apparently. Yes, “Since its body is made of tea, you may even be able to have a taste.”
Danielle: No!
Cado: “Be careful! Too much and you might not feel so well.” Thank you Nintendo of America for the warning!
Rob: Just like real good tea is notorious for making people feel. Just have delicious tea, you feel immediately sick and like you taking something Unholy into your body. So yeah, this all sounds good.
Danielle: Just watch Midsommar, you know.
Cado: It’s cute though! Look at it. It’s cute. It’s got a cute face. I love it. I love all Pokemon. Pokemon are great.
Danielle: Wait wait. “Name Origin. :Polteageist” may be a combination of “poltergeist” and “tea.” “Pottodesu” may be a combination of “pot” and “death,” and a pun on potto desu (it’s a teapot).” I got that one from Bulbapedia!
Cado: Wow, Japan’s got all the good names for Pokemon. That’s some good shit!
Danielle: Pot and Death!
Cado: Pot death!
Patrick: “That’s some good shit” is what you’re gonna say when you start drinking this ghost.
Cado: MMMMM! That’s some good tea! Let’s make some Polteageist kombucha!
Patrick: Excuse me.
Rob: Is that tea? I think we established it wasn’t tea.
Cado: It is tea! It is tea that has been fermented!
Rob: I remember vividly that whole conversation and everyone said “We agree Rob, you made a completely airtight argument for why that’s not tea so we don’t need to discuss it again.”
Discussed: Nintendo Direct, Deadly Premonition, Return of the Obra Dinn, Assassin’s Creed, Pokemon, Doom 64, Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, SNES on Nintendo Switch Online, Gears 5, Blair Witch
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This article originally appeared on VICE US.