The Only Greggs Vegan Sausage Roll Review You Need

January 3, 2019 admin Greggs, vegan food, veganism

Credit to Author: Hannah Ewens| Date: Thu, 03 Jan 2019 14:13:20 +0000

Just days after writing that being vegan has lost its significance as a moral signifier, instead becoming just another plot point in our mundane everyday lives, we now have all the proof we need.

Today, Greggs – the cheap and cheerful bakery staple of the high street, bastion of a romanticised warm-hearted and working class northern England, all pastry and pies and pleasantness – are launching a vegan sausage roll. Naturally, some people are fuming that a new food item that doesn’t contain meat or dairy now exists, and by some people I mean Piers Morgan, who’s accused Greggs of being “PC-ravaged clowns”, and a man called “Seeker of Truth”, who told me my skeleton is brittle and weak when I tweeted my excitement about the new roll-boi.

Anti-vegans should be mad. This is is no Veggie Pret opening, nor a Tesco vegan ready meal range; this is mainstream veganism in action on par with Wetherspoons introducing their vegan menu. This is the British equivalent of American McDonald’s getting that vegan meat burger. This is easy and bland and delicious; this is grab-and-go veganism. It has arrived.

Overall Comparison to the Original Greggs Sausage Roll: 4.5/5

Let’s face it: these are marginally less greasy and flaky than the real thing. But you’re not having the real thing, are you. Vegan food is the Diet Coke you get used to, and every now and again “for a treat”/when hungover/in a pathetic act of minor self-harm, you have a Red One and remember an alternative existed, once.

That said, no vegan today can be bothered to compromise very much on taste, and here, you don’t have to. I inhaled two of these rolls around the corner from my colleagues because I am both greedy and selfish with food, but also, because they were very good. They didn’t make me feel any less sluggish or sick than is the norm, which I’d imagine a couple of the real ones might (maybe I’m wrong, but I do not care to stand corrected by a Twitter meat bro). Speaking of Red Cokes, I can’t think of a better hangover cure than a Coke and one of these. After this success, surely a vegan sausage and bean bake – AKA the greatest Greggs product – a warm flaky pouch of Quorn saus and beans is next.

As the video on a fake iPad that came with the rolls told me over dramatic Game of Thrones-style music, this is the new gen of sausage roll. Embrace the fake. Feel the reduced-flaking. Go out and enjoy a fraudulent sausage.

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.